Robin Hood: I Choose You

It’s Christmas Eve-Eve, so I’m going to have to try and keep this one short. That shouldn’t be too difficult, as this episode is mostly table-setting for the season’s grand finale (and possibly the show’s grand finale, as there’s been no word on a renewal just yet, and that’s never a good sign).

In the aftermath of the previous episode, Robin has returned to Warrick’s estate and taken the man captive. Uh, okay! Warrick threatens he’ll be revenged by the king himself, but that of course is precisely why Robin is doing all this.

Turns out the outlaws’ cave network is compromised already, as the spy placed amidst Robin’s camp has found his way back to the Sheriff and shared its location. Well, that was quick. Have we seen this guy before the end of last episode? Because I feel that with just a little tweaking, they could have combined his character with Alwyn, just to streamline things a bit more.

Over in Westminster, Marian passes Robin’s coin to Eleanor, and subsequently learns about the arrangement made between queen and outlaw. On wondering about his motives, Eleanor tells her that Robin’s end of the deal involves her releasing Marian from her servitude – it would seem he has been doing all this for her.

Well, that’s not strictly true, and Marian looks a little too wonderstruck instead of horrified that all that bloodshed has been done for her sake, but it would seem reconciliation with Robin is now on the table.

Not so impressed is Tuck, who protests as the Saxon outlaws threaten Warrick in the forest, only for Drew to slit his throat while Robin is offering the kill to Ralph. Ralph doesn’t look happy either, but this is clearly the final straw for Tuck. Their moral crusade is nothing but a self-perpetuating cycle of vengeance.

Hey, it’s another Priscilla nightmare! Haven’t seen one of those in a while. With chains around her ankles and red light spilling through the windows, she walks down the halls of Westminster, eventually come face-to-face with a trio of ominous nuns. I honestly still don’t know how well this show is being written to judge whether this is a clever deep-cut foreshadow that indicates Priscilla is going to end up being the old nun who eventually poisons Robin Hood (is it a vision of her future self?) or just cool-looking weird shit because the writers have no idea what to do with this character.

She wakes up in bed and starts vomiting on the floor – and that means only one thing if you’re a woman on a television show!

The Sheriff arrives at Westminster, bringing the queen news of Robin Hood’s hideout and asking for two hundred solders to root him out. Eleanor tells him that would be pointless, as her husband has already sent Guy of Gisborne to Nottingham to do the job himself. Wait, when did this happen? A lot of important stuff is happening offscreen in this episode.

So after all that conniving and plotting with Robin, it turns out Eleanor’s plan to lure the king to England was a bust after all. He just sends someone else, and by all accounts Gisborne is a much more dangerous foe to deal with, so she promises the Sheriff her backing if he gets rid of him.

There’s a nice little farewell between the Sheriff and Priscilla, but no indication whatsoever of what his feelings are about his daughter’s current lifestyle at court. I mean, he’s gotta know she’s sleeping with the Marshal, right?

Back to Nottingham, in which we get our first look at Guy of Gisborne, who is more like the Prince of Thieves take on the character than the BBC one. He’s slimy, he’s creepy, and I have no idea how he manages to see through his fringe. He’s introduced arriving at the castle and reuniting with Huntington, who hasn’t had much screentime for a while. Yeah, if these two are friends, you know he’s bad news, and the two of them waste no time before cracking open the Sheriff’s larders and starting to plot.

In quick succession we get the two sides of Prince John, firstly the petulant child when Eleanor confronts him with what he’s been up to, and then the seemingly courteous young man when he visits Marian and asks if she’ll take him up on his offer to travel… until she denies him and he promptly punches her in the face.

I was going to make a “that escalated quickly” joke, but this ends up being a very disturbing scene, in which he throws her to the ground, yanks on her hair and puts his foot on her spine, forcing her to call him “my lord,” for good measure.

In the space of a second, he goes from a potential suitor to another version of her father, and unsurprisingly, Marian’s first instinct is to run back to the one man that’s never physically harmed her. Robin might be violent, but it’s never been directed at her. She and Priscilla have a short but tearful farewell as Marian saddles her house, complete with “I love yous,” though they’re still sharing way too much information with each other: now Priscilla knows Marian is with the outlaws, and Marian knows the Sheriff is about to root them all out.

Back to Sherwood. Robin is out hunting, and nearly killed by the Sheriff’s spy until Tuck body-tackles the man just in the nick of time. Turns out that “goodbye forever” means “I’m going to wander around in circles until I can return at the most opportune moment.” He ends up stabbing the guy in self-defence, and is suitably cut up about it (again, I feel like Alwyn could have been better used in this role – why introduce a brand-new guy when there’s a character already established as a turncoat right there?)  

Following on from a Robin/Little John scene in which the latter encourages him to keep on killing Normans, and a Little John/Tuck scene in which they argue about what exactly their purpose is, there’s a reconciliation between Tuck and Little John, in which John tells the monk that this is his home. The shift from a “kill em all” mentality to a “okay, let’s try not to kill everyone” concession is done at the speed of light, but at least it’s happening (and is ironically brought on by Tuck… killing someone).

Continuing in this theme, Robin approaches an upset Ralph and tells her that she did the right thing in refusing to kill Warrick, and that she and Tuck are the strongest among them. Like I said, this change of heart is happening very quickly, but the two of them are having what seems like a genuine moment – which of course is Marians’ cue to ride into camp with news of the impending attack.

For the first time Ralph gets a good look at her rival, and is smart enough to know exactly who she is and what this means. Soon afterwards, she approaches Marian while they’re sitting at separate campfires, and for a second there, I honestly thought she was going to attack her.

It’s mercifully not the case, but she informs Marian there’s no way Robin is going to abandon his people, which puts a bit of a damper on Marian’s plan that the pair of them get the hell out of dodge. In a private scene between the lovers, Robin proves the veracity of Ralph’s assertion: despite Marian urging him to run away with her, he has responsibilities now and is even less inclined to abandon everyone once she tells him her news about the impending attack.

After ascertaining that an army is indeed on its way to wipe them all out, Robin decides that the best course of action is a mass evacuation – Marian included.

The Sheriff returns home to find Gisborne and Huntington have made themselves at home in his castle, and there’s some manly posturing between the three of them. Privately, Gisborne and Huntington have secretly decided to slaughter the foresters’ village in the old “go after their families” ploy, and we see this entire massacre take place (though I didn’t catch a glimpse of the man who tried to talk Robin down in the previous episode, which seems a pretty bad oversight. That guy was the audience’s point of connection; without him we’re just watching a bunch of extras getting slaughtered).

Nearly there. The Marshal and Priscilla are still off in their own little drama, with the Marshal being ordered by Eleanor to travel to Rome and prevent John from getting the Pope’s approval by any means necessary. When he tells Priscilla, it plays out like he’s breaking up with her instead of just obeying orders from the queen, and she’s equally distraught that he’s not taking her with him (because twelfth century men took their side-pieces on dangerous missions all the time back then).

It ends with Robin and Marian riding out to the foresters’ village (I’m assuming because they’re including them in their evacuation?) only to find the aftermath of the slaughter. They’re both suitably horrified, and Marian promises him that whatever he choses to do next, she’ll stand by him – suggesting that we’re heading for another confrontation instead of a peaceable withdrawal.

Well, I’ll see everyone next week for the big finale. Till then, Merry Christmas!

Miscellaneous Observations:

Sorry to keep harping on about Alwyn, but another path they could have taken with this character would have been for Robin to spare his life, and him to then save some Saxon lives during this episode’s massacre. It would have been a great demonstration of how mercy pays off; that life begets more life.

A group of Saxons storms his castle, and Warrick doesn’t bother fortifying the place in the aftermath? That’s just asking to be taken captive and killed!

I was a little disappointed that Robin didn’t notice or comment on Marian’s split lip. Someone obviously did that to her, and he didn’t seem to care.

This episode also had a random little scene in which Spragart is given some characterization, and we learn that he was orphaned at a very young age. He tells this to Isabel, who is still around (has she divorced her husband, or just abandoned him?) and… well, that’s it. Like I said, it’s a bit random.

Gisborne arrives with a very tall man who is referred to as a giant, because that’s just what we need one episode out from the finale. More characters! Still, at least there was a sighting of Marian’s remaining brother. Will is still MIA though. Seriously, have they just forgotten this character exists?