Legend of the Seeker: Tears

And so we come to it, the season finale of Legend of the Seeker, which ended up being its Grand Finale as well. For those that have been following along with my reviews since the beginning, you’ll recall me saying that I didn’t watch this season back when it first aired on television, simply because I didn’t want it to finish. I wanted these episodes in reserve!

And yet all things must come to an end, and finally I’ve reached the conclusion of this one: fourteen years after its original air-date and four years since I started my rewatch of season one.

With all my grumbling about how shows are always getting cancelled, it’s timely reminder that this is hardly a new phenomenon. Legend of the Seeker was unceremoniously cut down in its prime, when the writers clearly had plenty more steam in their engines, and there were plenty of narrative seeds sown throughout these episodes that were clearly meant to have payoff in a third season.

Though in saying that, we get forty-four episodes in total. These days cancellation at the end of a second season would probably leave you with only sixteen episodes, if you were lucky.

Let’s get to it then: the very last episode of Legend of the Seeker. I am bereft!

We get a very long “previously on” montage, which lasts a full two minutes and hits most of the major beats of this season: the Stone of Tears, the Pillars of Creation, the Rift, the prophecy that Richard will hand the Stone over to the Keeper, the Sisters of the Dark, Nicci, Dahlia, Cara going dark side, and the alternative reality/timeline that Zed is currently trapped in.

All the assembled pieces are present and accounted for, so I’ll just say that the standout snippet is Richard angrily declaring: “I don’t believe in prophecies.” Dude, you really should, because so far they’ve all come true.

The episode itself kicks off, and the cliff-hanger conclusion is wrapped up pretty quickly: Kahlan and Zed overpower the Mord Sith, and Zed comes up with the idea to cast the Spell of Undoing on Dahlia instead of Cara – that way she will have never become a Mord Sith, and therefore will never get the chance to lure Cara away from her friends.

Well, that was a somewhat abrupt finish to this foray into a parallel(ish) timeline. Zed recasts the spell, we get a repeat of the chanting and the thunderstorms and the spinning camera effects, and Zed comes to in a third reality, one in which he’s fighting Banelings in a wasteland. We never see Dahlia again.

Soooo... that’s a huge chunk of Cara’s life, for better or worse, that’s just been taken from her. The audience has also been suddenly thrown into yet another alternative timeline, one in which are heroes are presumably closer to their goal than they were at the start of “Eternity,” when Dahlia first appeared, though still (as Zed ascertains) on a very strained time limit.

Basically, the last two episodes never happened. How did things play out without Dahlia? What other differences might there be in a world without her as a Mord Sith? There were some good scenes in “Eternity” and “Unbroken” that now never occurred at all. That’s the problem with alternative-realities: as soon as the “real world” asserts itself, you kind of feel like you’ve wasted a lot of time on stuff that was never actually a relevant part of the story. (Perhaps a third season would have picked up on some of the dangling threads left here: Cara’s son with Darken Rahl, Dahlia’s new life as someone who never became a Mord Sith, the non-existence of Cara’s two children and her meetcute with Leo).

For now at least, I suppose we can only assume that everything pre-Dahlia’s appearance happened exactly as we saw it unfold in the preceding episodes, and that everything post-Dahlia was fairly uneventful. Zed and Cara never got captured by Darken Rahl, and Richard and Kahlan retrieved the Stone of Tears without immediately losing it again.

Zed catches up on where and when they are, and the alternative reality is never mentioned again. Okay, fine. Weird way to wrap up that narrative detour, but let’s move on.

As our heroes trek their way across the sands, they’re watched by a Sister of the Dark, who somehow goes unseen despite wearing her billowing red robes on a high vantage point.

The last time we saw Darken Rahl in the original timeline, he was in possession of the Stone of Tears, and leading his Mord Sith away from the Pillars of Creation. Whatever he was planning to do with it will now go forever unexplained, as this version of Rahl is just chilling in a hot bath. He does love his hot baths, doesn’t he.

The Mord Sith haven’t joined him this time around, though two are standing guard – and are promptly stabbed to death by Nicci, not seen since “Bound,” and now clad head-to-toe in black. Rahl recognizes her, though I’m having trouble remembering how exactly they’ve met. I do recall that she no longer serves the Keeper, and as she points out to Rahl, it’s within their best interests that Richard succeed in his quest. Both are on the Keeper’s shit-list, which means his victory is an eternity of torture for the pair of them.

Rahl is pretty chill about Richard’s chances, though Nicci is preoccupied with the prophecy: the one that states Richard will hand the Stone of Tears over to the Keeper. She wants to know his whereabouts so she can protect him from such a fate.

Rahl claims he doesn’t know, and Nicci responds by throwing lightning bolts into the bathwater, badly electrocuting him. Wait, since when could she emit lightning bolts from her hands? Have we seen her do that before? My recollection of her previous episodes are a little fuzzy at this point...

Elsewhere, the Sister of the Dark that was watching Richard, Kahlan, Zed and Cara rejoins her sisters in the forest (when are they not in the forest?). Honestly – how many of these women ARE there? I feel like we watch dozens of them get slaughtered every episodes, and yet their numbers never decease. And oh great, Marianna is STILL around. Argh!

In a nice little touch of continuity, the Sister from the last episode (the one that was taken back to the People’s Palace by Commander Tremick) reappears, only to have her throat immediately slit by Marianna so that she might get instructions straight from the now-silent Keeper’s mouth. She wakes up naked in the green orgy firepit – that’s a weird sentence – and discovers that the Keeper is finally going to take matters into his own hands.

He couldn’t do this earlier? Like say, twenty-two episodes ago?

His grand declaration is accompanied by the Rift opening up even further, snaking across the sands and cutting off our heroes from their destination. Richard manages to take a flying leap and lands safely on the other side, but the widening gulf necessitates a split-up. Richard will press on to the Pillars, and the others will try to reach the end of the Rift and catch up.

Back to Rahl, and hey – Katrina Law as Garren has returned! Other Mord Sith tend to his burnt body, and Rahl declares they’re going to hunt down and kill Nicci. Not just because she’s burned him to a crisp, but because he’s suspicious about her true motives – she doesn’t want to help Richard, but use him somehow. And so Rahl has decided to circumvent this by teaming up with Richard in order to save the world.

All our plotlines are starting to converge...

(But again, this makes me wonder what on earth he was planning to do with the Stone of Tears in the original timeline).

Richard approaches a village that’s been attacked by Banelings, and discovers a survivor: a little boy called Declan whose father is lying dead nearby. Unsurprisingly, Richard does the hero thing and makes sure there’s a fire and enough supplies for the boy to fend for himself while he completes his quest. Declan is naturally fearful of being left alone, though Richard argues that his mission is too important for him to be slowed down. To proof it, he shows the boy the Stone of Tears.

Oh Richard, why so trusting?

After he’s left, Marianna and the rest of the Sisters of the Dark approach the boy who is – surprise, surprise – the Keeper in disguise. On the one hand, it was pretty obvious that this is who it was. On the other, the reveal probably should have been kept until after the new prophecy about how the Keeper is “in the mask of child,” was spoken, just to up the suspense a little bit.

In any case, Declan now speaks with the deep voice of the Keeper, telling the Sisters that he doesn’t need their protection. Rather, he’s going to rely on the Seeker – and the prophecy that states he’ll willingly hand over the Stone of Tears to him.

(Just as I’m wondering whether Declan was a real boy whose body the Keeper hijacked, or whether he’s just an illusion, the question is answered for me: it’s the former. The real Declan was killed by Banelings the Keeper has possessed his body).

Marianna reminds him of the second prophecy: that he’s doomed to fail is the Mother Confessor’s pure heart still beats. With that in mind, the Keeper sends the Sisters ahead to the Pillars of Creation, to lay in wait and kill Kahlan when she arrives.  

To recap, we’ve got Richard heading for the Pillars, Kahlan, Zed and Cara attempting to reach the same place, the Sisters of the Dark going there too in order to dispatch Kahlan, Nicci following behind them all, and Rahl chasing Richard with his Mord Sith. That’s a lot of moving pieces, though everyone is going in the same direction.

Richard is crossing the sands and heading for what looks like a rocky, semi-mountainous region, when he hears someone behind him. It’s Not!Declan, who lays it on thick with his scared, helpless pleas to not be left alone. Cut to: Richard carrying him on his shoulders. *deep weary sigh*

Now for this episode’s most random sequence (which I think I enjoy precisely because it’s so random). A Sister of the Light that we’ve never seen before is traversing a forested area, when she’s stopped suddenly by a dacre held to her throat. It’s in the hand belonging to a familiar face, albeit one we haven’t seen for a while: Sister Verna.

She seems to think the newcomer has been sent to kill her on the orders of the Prelate (um... I can’t really remember what the circumstances of her last appearance were) but the Sister insists she’s been trying to find her in order to pass on a brand-new prophecy that’s been sent straight from the Creator. I do remember this, and how the Sisters had a special room in which the prophecies appeared on the wall.

According to the Sister, the prophecy is: “On the eve of the solstice, in the mask of a child, will the Keeper walk among us. And by his hand the Seeker will be blindly led.” Like I said, this probably should have taken place before the Declan reveal, just for that “ooh” factor.

Verna points out that the solstice is tomorrow, and that even though she hasn’t seen the Seeker since he left the Old World, she knows of a way they might be able to help him.

(Just to jump ahead, Verna only has two scenes in this episode, and despite having been a reasonably important character earlier in the season, never interacts with Richard or any of the other main characters. That’s the reason I call this sequence “random,” even though it imparts fairly important information, and has an effect on our heroes, what with all the monks that are sent out to find them. Still, it feels a little strange that she’s Back for the Finale and yet plays so small a part. Her scenes are so far removed from the action that it’s... well, random).

In any case, the prophecy doesn’t give anyone much time to act, and you have to wonder why the Creator cut it so close. She couldn’t have sent this missive twelve episodes ago when Richard was at the Palace of the Prophets so that he would have known to be wary around sad-looking children well in advance?

Back in the desert, Nicci catches up to Kahlan, Zed and Cara, and promptly attacks them with lightening bolts. Being a Mord Sith, Cara deflects them easily, and Kahlan rushes forward to confess her, knowing she’ll be a valuable asset if she’s under her control.

Unfortunately, Nicci seems to be only feigning her unconsciousness, and when Kahlan approaches she confesses her instead. It’s rather unclear as to how this is accomplished; it seems to involve Nicci stabbing her with a knife that carries the green fire of the underworld in it, and each woman’s eyes go black. The first instruction given to the newly-confessed Kahlan is: “kill the Mord Sith.”

Zed and Cara have been watching this in horror, and as Kahlan rushes them, Zed grabs Cara and magically transports them elsewhere. According to him, “[Nicci] must’ve absorbed enough of Kahlan’s Han to use it against her.” Um, what? I have no idea how that’s supposed to work, but whatever. Now we’re dealing with Nicci and a confessed Kahlan galloping away after Richard.

The solution seems simple enough to Cara: they’ll just kill Nicci and Kahlan will be freed. However, they’ll have to catch up with them first – on foot.

We cut back to Verna, who seems to be standing in the same monastery where Panis Rahl was hiding out for all those years. Wherever it is, she and the other Sister are surrounded by monks, who are listening to what Verna has to say: that the Creator has sent a prophecy that requires them to find Richard and kill any child that he might be travelling with. The head monk is naturally shocked by this, but Verna (thankfully) clarifies that the Keeper is taking the form of a child: “The Creator has put a sword in our hands. Are we going to lay it down or raise it, in battle?”

I mean, she’s right – but it’s still a little sus to ask these men to slaughter someone that looks like a kid. Also, the fact that they're sent out just kinda makes things worse...

We cut to a montage of several monks heading out on horseback, traversing the countryside in search of Richard. They can’t just use journey-books to contact their brothers in various isolated outposts? That would have worked better than making us assume that these monks are just going to catch up to Richard, their home having been established halfway up a snowy mountain.

Back to Cara and Zed, trudging through the desert. Cara asks if Zed knows any magic to get them there faster, which is a damn good question considering a. we’ve already seen him teleport the pair of them just a couple of scenes ago, and b. we also know that Zed can turn himself (and presumably others) into a hawk. So yeah, I’ve no idea why they’re walking.

But it’s at that moment Zed notices horses approaching. It’s the Mord Sith, sans Darken Rahl himself, who offer their services to the pair. Specifically Garren, who clarifies that Rahl has “an instinct for survival.” If the Keeper wins, Rahl will be subjected to an eternity of torture in the underworld; a fate he clearly wants to avoid. Cara isn’t hugely impressed, but Zed points out that this alliance would give them four more anti-magic fighters to combat Nicci’s magic.

Seeing his point, Cara gets a fun little scene in which she asks Garren: “who’s in charge here?” and when she replies: “I am,” gets a backhand across the face and a repeat of the question. This time the answer is: “you are.” It’s a fun power flex, and very Mord Sith.

Nicci and Kahlan have reached the deserted village, spotting Richard’s tracks leading towards the mountainous region. It’s at this point that Nicci reveals her evil plan: that Kahlan will get close enough to Richard to confess him on her behalf, and: “you will order him to give me the Stone of Tears. It has the power to bestow immorality, even while the Keeper does me the great favour of destroying all of the rest of the pathetic life that inhabits this world. You will order Richard to be my consort, and he and I will start a new race in our image. A people that follow my will, and my will alone.”

Girl, what? That’s your plan?? Oof.

Kahlan worries that Richard is too far ahead of them to catch up, and so Nicci casts a spell that sends a bowlful of ground-up glass from a broken window across the sands and straight into Richard’s face. Ah, the old Temporary Blindness chestnut, in which the hero has to rely on their four other senses to complete whatever mission they’re on. I feel like we’ve seen this hundreds of times across the fantasy/sci-fi genre, and this particular example slots neatly into the: “by his hand, the Seeker shall be blindly led” part of the prophecy. Turns out, this was meant quite literally.

The Keeper sees his chance, and asks for the Stone of Tears, promising that he’ll take it straight to the Pillars in Richard’s stead. Could this be what the prophecy has been leading up to this whole time? Not that Richard will be morally compromised or forced to commit an act of desperation, but simply that he’ll get tricked while visually impaired? Yes... just not quite yet.

Zed, Cara and the Mord Sith have reached the village, just as Nicci and Kahlan are preparing to leave. Inexplicably, one of the monks also pops up at this precise moment, not realizing that Kahlan is confessed and telling her that the Seeker is in great danger. He repeats the latest prophecy to them, and Kahlan realizes that they’ve gone and made it come true.

Nicci promptly kills the monk, and jumps on horseback with Kahlan behind her. From the rooftops, Cara waits for a clear shot, and takes down Nicci with a well-aimed arrow. That’s the Mord Sith’s cue to attack, and the four of them surround Nicci, electrocuting them with their agiels. In the face of this, Kahlan goes into the Con Dar (haven’t seen that since season one, I believe) and confesses all four Mord Sith at once, without even touching them. Her first instruction is that they kill each other.

Zed and Cara creep closer, trying to stay out of sight given the fact that if Kahlan sees either of them, they’ll be instantly confessed. Kahlan has dragged Nicci into one of the buildings, where she’s told to go after Richard and bring back the Stone of Tears. Its power may well revive her, even after she’s dead.

Kahlan rushes off, and Cara enters the building to finish off Nicci, only to find she’s already perished. So why isn’t Kahlan released from confession? Well, mostly because the plot requires her to stay inside it, though Zed hypothesizes it’s: “maybe because Nicci used Kahlan’s own magic to Confess her. The only way to free Kahlan is to kill her and bring her back with the Breath of Life.”

Okay, sure. Why not? The show has always been impressive in keeping track of everyone’s magical abilities and the rules that govern them, but this episode is definitely bending a few laws for convenience’s sake. I mean, they could have just gone with the possibility that she was out of confession, but still trapped in the adrenalin rush of the Con Dar, which fits with what happens later.

Cara takes aim with her bow, but hesitates long enough for Kahlan to get away. In a nice character beat, she berates herself for not taking the shot, having been concerned that she won’t be able to revive Kahlan afterwards. She calls this “weakness,” though Zed disagrees – an instinct to perverse life instead of snuff it out. This episode is going twenty miles an hour, so I’m glad at least one character moment managed to slip in.

Richard is being led by the Keeper over a mountainous path, only for “Declan” to slip and end up falling down the cliffside. It’s unclear whether he did this on purpose or not, but Richard struggles to hear where he is in lieu of his eyesight. Declan ends up at the bottom of the cliff, his foot stuck in a small crevasse, being menaced by an advancing monk with a drawn knife (man, these dudes are popping up everywhere!)

Just before he’s dispatched, Richard takes out the monk from behind with the Sword of Truth, which was sadly unable to communicate to him the truth of this situation. Still blind, he’s unable to see the Keeper’s evil smirk.

Next thing we know, the pair of them are behind the sea, and the Keeper tells Richard: “we’re here.” Ahead of them is a ruin atop some high rocks, mostly compromised of Pillars, with a Rift of burning green fire between it and Richard. After twenty-two episodes, he’s finally made it, and with only a few minutes to spare.

It’s at this moment that Kahlan comes galloping over the sands, and Richard naturally goes to meet her. Unfortunately, he can’t see her face, which is very much projecting her intent to kill him.

Now this scene is interesting, as the Keeper doesn’t realize this either, which means that his plan to have the Sisters of the Dark intercept Kahlan works against him. Had he not instructed them to do such a thing, Kahlan would have confessed Richard and the Stone of Tears would have been lost.

As it plays out, the Sisters of the Dark encircle Kahlan and use their dacres to force her off her horse. Having been told what’s going on by Declan, Richard hurries to her aid – but not before handing Declan the Stone and telling him to take it to the Pillars. So yeah, all that build-up about how Richard will hand over the Stone to the Keeper, and it’s just a case of mistaken identity in a last-ditch effort to save the world.

With dacres flying everywhere, Kahlan uses her Con Dar-enhanced abilities to confess all the Sisters and order them to kill each other, and we get one of the show’s staple visuals: a slow-motion fight. Robes are flying, dacres are spinning, Kahlan’s hair is billowing... you know the drill.

Hilariously, Marianna appears with much fanfare, only to be instantly stabbed from behind by Richard. This is her third onscreen death in as many episodes, and hopefully her last.

With the Sisters disposed of, Richard tries to find Kahlan, who grabs him by the throat and attempts to confess him. It doesn’t work, as her insistence that he give her the Stone of Tears is met only with confusion. I’m going to assume it doesn’t work because he can’t see her? Whatever the reason, Kahlan grows more frantic that he’s not obeying her, which he can’t do anyway, because he’s given the Stone to Declan... who is right at this moment disappearing with it into the fires of the Rift.

Kahlan lets out a Big No and Richard grasps that she’s in the Con Dar... but not that she’s confessed. Furious that she’s been thwarted, and therefore unable to give her mistress what she wants, Kahlan responds by stabbing Richard in the chest with her knife. In slow-motion of course, with roiling thunderclouds crackling overhead.

Having killed the man she loves, Kahlan comes back to herself, shedding the primal rage of the Con Dar (which is what they probably should have gone with in the first place – that with Nicci’s death she was freed from confession, but still spurred on to obey her thanks to the blood rage). She begins to weep over his body, only to hear approaching hoofbeats.

It’s Cara and Zed, just in the nick of time. Cara leaps of her horse and administers the Breath of Life to Richard, who does not rouse immediately. Kahlan’s tears continue to fall, with one landing on Richard’s skin and forming itself into... another Stone of Tears?

Okay, we’re fully into New Powers as the Plot Demands territory now. What is even happening? How is this possible? They’re just given a new Stone of Tears? Why did they have to bother finding the first one, then?

I’m not going to dwell on it too much, because we’re nearly there. With the new Stone’s formation, Richard wakes up and our heroes get to their feet for the last mercy dash. They sprint through the ruins, dodging fire-filled rifts opening in the earth, and reach what looks like a golden orb on a raised pillar. Kahlan guides Richard’s hand into its depths, and Richard places the Stone in its designated resting place. A shaft of light bursts through the cloud cover, hitting the Stone and sending out a shock wave of golden magic, that closes the rifts and quells the fires.

From under the earth, it’s the Keeper’s turn to let out a Big No as dirt and rubble start to fall all around him.

And then, all is quiet. It’s over.

Back at the deserted village, Nicci’s body is turned over and given the Breath of Life by a Mord Sith, just as Richard so recently was. She returns to the waking world to face Darken Rahl and his remaining lieutenants, realizing they’ve put a Rada’han around her neck. Rahl smiles evilly, telling her: “I have great plans for you, now that it appears that my brother has defeated the Keeper. But first, I’m going to draw you a nice, warm bath.”

Back at the Pillars, Zed heals Richard’s eyes. The first thing he sees is Kahlan, who in turn notices that the mark of the Keeper has disappeared from his chest. On questioning how everything managed to play out the way it did, Zed provides the answer, and it’s exactly what you’d expect: The Power of Love.

With that, the show ends on a kiss between Richard and Kahlan against the evening sun. And that’s that.

***

Whew, what is there left to say? This episode had a lot of narrative ground to cover, and in many ways very much felt like a season finale as opposed to a Grand Finale, as it ended up being. In other words, you probably could have ended the show with last season’s “Reckoning” and felt fully satisfied that everything had been wrapped up. Here, not so much.

“Reckoning” was also a simply better episode than this one, which felt rather cluttered in what it had to cover and in the number of characters running around. Return appearances from Nicci, Verna and Garren fell a little flat, and Rahl himself only appears at the very beginning and the very end of the story. Likewise, the Keeper appearing in the form of a child was a last-minute spanner in the works that wasn’t hugely compelling, and that Kahlan spent most of the episode’s runtime under confession was rather disappointing.

And as ever, Marianna is a complete dud who goes out like a chump.

I feel the penultimate episode was more thrilling than this, which was ultimately just our heroes trying to deliver the MacGuffin to the MacGuffin Location, without much in the way of character drama or personal stakes.

And yet for all my complaints, the episode uses every second it’s got to bring this seasonal arc to a close. It was a relief for the characters to FINALLY get where they’ve been headed this whole season (the Pillars of Creation) and along the way Chekhov’s Guns are fired, set-ups are paid off, and everyone gets their chance to shine. In the lead-up to this final episode, I’ve also appreciated that each of the leads (Richard, Kahlan, Zed and Cara) were given an episode that focused specifically on him/her, and that they brought back some of the show’s most prominent guest-stars for a look-in, namely Renn and Jennsen.

But the writers clearly weren’t finished with this world and its story. There was a lot of drama left to be mined from these characters, and plenty of seeds strewn throughout this season that hinted towards the shape and form of a potential third. I’m thinking specifically of the prophecy Verna showed Richard in the Palace of the Prophets: “our scholars have interpreted this to mean that a descendant of two powerful bloodlines must fight a powerful new force after the Keeper is defeated. That descendant is you.”

Likewise, we got the little coda about Rahl’s plans for the newly enslaved Nicci, and I’m sure stuff like Cara’s son with Darken Rahl and the reestablishment of the Confessor Order would have been delved into as well. And was Denna really dead? What happened to Dennee? Will Richard and Kahlan ever find a way to knock boots?

We’ll never know. It’s a damn shame, even if I’m fourteen years late to the disappointment.

Miscellaneous Observations:

It was sweet that Zed was so pleased to see Cara again, since he was the last of the gang that she managed to win over.

Whatever happened to Garren? Did she die along with the other Mord Sith when Kahlan turned them on each other?

After so many beautiful forest vistas, it was a bit of a shame that most of this episode took place in mud-coloured deserts and wastelands.

As mentioned, they really should have strung out the Declan reveal a little while longer. He reveals himself to Marianna in his second scene, when this should have taken place after Verna was told of the new prophecy, allowing the audience to put the dots together themselves.

The final rush to the Pillars of Creation was fairly uneventful. They couldn’t have fought their way through some Banelings, especially since they were such a significant component of this season?

I have always commended this show on its ability to keep track of a very complex magical system, in which half-a-dozen or so characters have very distinct power-sets (Kahlan’s confessing, the Mord Sith’s Breath of Life, Jennsen as pristinely ungifted, etc) that can accommodate or negate each other, and the crafting of plots that not only take all this intricacy into account, but merge it elegantly into the storylines. It can’t have been easy, as there was so much potential for convolution or contradiction. And yet, for the most part they pulled it off.

What they weren’t so great with was clear world-building. I still have no idea what a Seeker actually is, how they originated, or what they’re even supposed to be seeking. This season introduced us to the Old World, though we’re never told how this differentiated from any kind of new world, and neither was there any clarification on why everyone, no matter how good or bad, seemed to end up in the Keeper’s weird firepit afterlife orgy.

But the show was at its strongest when it was focusing on its main characters: the inherent goodness of Richard, the carefully controlled mix of vulnerability-and-terrifying-raw-power of Kahlan, and the love story that evolved between them that was built on trust, communication and always giving each other the benefit of the doubt. I’m not a shipper at the best of times, and I have very little interest in romance that relies largely on belligerent sexual tension, so Richard and Kahlan always feel like a breath of fresh air to me. Lovers that actually like each other, and treat each other with respect. Imagine!

Cara’s redemption arc is one for the ages, up there with the likes of Xena and Zuko, while Zed always brought a wise old trickster charm to everything he said and did (with a genuine weakness for beautiful women in his youth). Darken Rahl might not ever make it onto any Best All-Time Villain lists, but he was a rare example of a Dark Lord who was predominately clever and cunning, relying on his wits and skill in manipulation over brute strength or force of arms.

And although this show never really broke into mainstream pop-culture osmosis, the visual contrast of the Confessors in their flowing white robes, and the Mord Sith with their long braids and skin-tight leather, was the show’s most arresting imagery. I don’t care what sexual orientation you ascribe to; everyone felt a little something at the sight of a Mord Sith strutting her stuff, or a Confessor fighting in slow-motion with her hair and sleeves billowing around her.

As mentioned at the very beginning of this rewatch, I’ve never read any of the books upon which this series was based, and have never had much interest in doing so. Fantasy doorstoppers really aren’t my thing, and I have it on good authority that they’re more than a little silly in several respects (something to do with a demonic chicken? And let’s face it, Richard has always been a goofy name for a fantasy hero).

Though I have to admit that I’m now a little curious about how they pan out – and reading them would probably clear up some of my problems with the show’s slipshod worldbuilding.

But for now at least, I’ve got enough on my plate. What I’d like to do now is marathon the whole show again from start to finish, and imagine what a hypothetical season three would have been like.