Legend of the Seeker: Princess

I’ve known this one has been coming up for a while (and been looking forward to it) because there are so many GIF-sets out there depicting Cara in her fancy regalia. I’m under the impression that this is a fan-favourite episode as well, though – like the last episode – it has some odd tonal shifts, with the resurrection of Nicci and the threat she poses set alongside some whacky hijinks at the court of a lecherous margrave.

And as is the way in serialized television, there’s no mention or worry about the Banelings in this episode, even though the zombie apocalypse should be in full-swing by now.

But hey, two Cara episodes in a row! That’s compensation for keeping her on the fringes for so long.

The story kickstarts with the Sisters of the Dark sacrificing one of their own in order to allow Nicci to return from the underworld in a new body. And hey, it looks as though the Sisters can perform the Kiss of Life as well. Are they an off-shoot of the Mord Sith, or is this just something magically-trained women can do in this world?

Our new Nicci is... fine I guess, though she doesn’t have the same panache as Jolene Blalock, who I’m guessing the show could only sign on for those two episodes? I mean sure, they can’t bring the character back in her body since Zed literally set it on fire, and they have established the use of a different actress playing the reincarnated version of an original character with Dennee earlier in the season, but still...

The newly resurrected Nicci spouts some exposition to get the plot cracking into gear, and wow, we can’t accuse her of letting the grass grow under her feet. Thanks to the prophecy about how the beating of Kahlan’s “pure heart” will defeat the Keeper, she’s their next target.

Yes, it’s Kahlan’s turn to be point in mortal peril, so while our heroes are preparing for another night around the campfire, two giant winged monsters swoop down and fly off with her in their talons. Trained gars only belong to the Margrave of Rothenberg (er, is he in the German part of the Midlands?) who lives in a castle that is impervious to the use of magic. Heh, the writers are really getting sick of our protagonists’ advanced skill-sets and the rules that govern them, aren’t they.

So, here’s the bad guy plan: Nicci asked the Margrave to kidnap Kahlan so that she’d be held in a place where the magical power she and her allies possess cannot assist her, in exchange for the Keeper granting the Margrave and his court eternal life. (How Nicci managed all this while she was dead is anyone’s guess. It’s also unclear why she didn’t order the Margrave to kill Kahlan instantly, or why she and her Sisters aren’t attempting to do that themselves).

And the good guy plan: to disguise themselves as a convoy of nobles heading for Rothenberg, including a potential bride for the Margrave that he’s never seen in-person before: Princess Laurenlyn of Thrice. Naturally, it’s down to Cara to impersonate this princess, with all the social delicacies that are expected of a woman of high standing – including subservience to men and speaking in rhyming couplets.

Meanwhile, Richard takes on the role of Roderick, a golden-haired lothario, and Zed becomes the Dowager Duchess of Thrice, which requires a full dive into campy cross-dressing. Whacky hijinks are sure to commence. Though, remember when men donning drag was a bit of fun and not something that caused people to fall into conniptions? This aired over a decade ago, people!

We got a lot of moving parts to this plot, with the Margrave trying to chose between his two prospective brides, Richard trying to finagle his way into the dungeons, Kahlan doing her best to get out of the dungeons, Nicci and her cohorts using Darken Rahl as an emissary to strike a deal with the Keeper, Zed fending off the advances of the Margrave’s herald, and of course, Cara struggling to embody the role of princess. Eventually sick of all the rhyming and fan-fluttering, she decides to do things her way and turns on the sexual aggression – and of course it works, as it’s a little known fact that the whole good girl/bad boy attraction works just as potently when the genders are reversed.

In this case, a man used to women being submissive doormats is insanely intrigued by a woman who is antagonistic and domineering (somebody tell the tradwives!) which puts Cara in pole position.

***

This whole time Kahlan has been in her own little subplot, in which she’s trapped in the dungeon with the Margrave’s first wife Arla, who will be sentenced to death once he’s chosen his new bride. She, having been raised in this backwards society, is totally okay with this, so it’s up to Kahlan to try and de-brainwash her in the limited time she has before Nicci arrives.

It all comes to a head when Nicci and the Sisters of the Dark arriving in Rothenberg to present the Margrave with the Keeper’s contract. Cara convinces him to meet with her in private, and once the two are alone in his bedchamber the foreplay quickly turns to violence as she tries to wrest the key to the dungeons from him.

Not helping is that Nicci has recognized Zed at the dinner table, and a fight ensures between Richard and the Sisters, complete with more dramatic slow-motion swirling of those red veils/sleeves, while Nicci is escorted to the dungeons to finish off Kahlan (okay, so there was this other subplot in which the castle herald fell for Zed-as-the-Duchess and now he’s so betrayed that the object of his affection was a man this whole time that he takes Nicci where she wants to go).

Turns out the Margrave is more of a physical threat than Cara gave him credit for, but she gets what she wants eventually, while Kahlan eventually talks Arla into helping her escape the dungeon by crying out to the guards that the Mother Confessor isn’t breathing. It’s a nice contribution actually, as there’s no way the guards would have believed Kahlan if she had been the one calling for assistance for Arla, and when they open the cell to investigate, Kahlan takes them out.

As befits a Girl Power episode, Kahlan and Cara converge just outside the dungeons and fight off the rest of the Sisters without the menfolk, while Nicci makes a flying leap out of a window to escape (remember, no magic within the castle walls; as soon as she’s outside, she disappears in a ball of light).

So all’s well that ends well. The Margrave has been abandoned by the Keeper, Arla has escaped with Kahlan, and the team is once again following that damn compass to wherever the hell it’s meant to be leading them – and at this stage, I’ve totally forgotten where that might be.

Miscellaneous Observations:

A fun episode, though as with “Hunger,” it had some odd tonal shifts. I think the Sisters of the Dark are meant to be very dangerous adversaries, but they had big “Darken Rahl attends a child’s birthday party” vibe here (remember that?) and were easily bested, even within the confines of a magic-free castle.

Likewise, the stuff with Arla was remarkably dark, what with that character coming across as having battered wife syndrome, in marked contrast to Cara comedically straining against the restrictive guise of a princess before eventually throwing caution to the wind and doing things her own way.

The plot was also a little cluttered, and I didn’t even make mention of the rather disappointing fat-shaming subplot that went on when Richard was forced to seduce the Margrave’s overweight sister Millicent in an attempt to get the dungeon key. Come on, Legend of the Seeker, you’re better than that!

Plus, look at her! She’s cute!

The brief opening sequence was amusing, not only skewing some gender norms by having the women chop firewood and the men prepare the meal, but depicting Cara actually teasing and laughing with the others.

As ever, kudos to whoever is doing the set design on what must be a very limited budget. Yes, the castle rooms are clearly smaller than you’d expect from the exterior establishing shots, but look at the colours! The furs! The animal heads! The ironwork on the gates! This all looks just like a Margrave’s castle should look.

I know we’ve had kings and queens before on this show (Queen Milena, King Gregor) but I’ve no idea how princesses and margraves are meant to fit into the social-strata of the Midlands. Just what exactly is the political landscape of this country??

I trust you all recognized John Bach as the Margrave’s herald, who was Faramir’s second-in-command in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Very different role here.

In short, everyone seemed to be having a good time with this one – we got to see our characters in fancy-dress, Zed munched down the scenery as the Dowager Duchess, and some loathsome bad guys got their just desserts. What more could you want?

(Edit: okay, so having written this review and then going back to grab screencaps, it turns out that a Mord Sith was the one responsible for administering the Kiss of Life to Nicci. She was decked out in the leather and everything. Which only begs the question: who is she and why is she in league with the Sisters of the Dark?)