Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 1 Rankings

Life is borderline chaotic at the moment, and even though I’m writing furiously at every possible opportunity, I still feel like this blog is stagnating. To tide you over until my review of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s first season, here’s a ranking of all twelve episodes that comprised that season, from worst to best.

#12 “Teacher’s Pet”

The most negligible episode of the first season, which can be easily skipped without missing anything in the way of continuity or characterization. The Monster of the Week is silly, the way in which she’s defeated is eye-rolling, and the metaphor (sexual predators are giant bugs) is heavy-handed even by the standards of season one.

Also, it ends on a cliffhanger that is never picked up again: hatching mantis eggs that are never seen or mentioned after this episode.

#11 “I Robot, You Jane”

If not for the first appearance of Jenny Calendar, this would also qualify as skippable filler.

The Monster of the Week is a little more interesting than the She-Mantis (heck, “demon loose on the internet” as a premise is downright good) and the episode was ahead of its time when it came to discussing the dangers of online dating, but the whole thing culminates in a giant demon-robot which looks as awful as it sounds.

Damn, Willow and Xander both suffered from terrible first character-centric episodes, though the whole thing DOES end on one of my favourite scenes of the trio: gradually realizing their love-lives are completely doomed.

#10 “The Pack”

There’s nothing wrong with this one, but again, the metaphor is rather heavy-handed (bullies are like pack animals) and nothing relevant to the overarching seasonal story happens. Also, a significant chunk of its runtime is padding (the dodgeball game, the woman with the baby, the hyena-people attacking the family in their car...)

Still, it has its moments. The zookeeper is a rare example of an entirely human evil at work, and they certainly upped the ante when recurring character Principal Flutie meets his gruesome end.

#9 “Out of Mind, Out of Sight”

I actually love the concept of a girl who literally turns invisible because nobody notices her, but as the penultimate episode of season one, it’s rather strangely placed. It includes the tiniest strand of a relevant subplot in which Angel brings a book of prophecies to Giles that becomes significant in the season finale, but for the most part it’s just the Scoobies running around after a very low-key threat.

Its most important contribution is finally giving Cordelia a bit of depth, though I’ll always be disappointed that Marcie Ross (and the assassin school) never made a return appearance. Come on, that place had the Initiative written all over it!

#8 “Nightmares”

I’m of the opinion that season one was a little too early in the game for a What Do They Fear Episode, which is borne out by the fact that the fears faced by our assorted Scoobies are all rather superficial. Stage fright! Bad hair! Surprise test! Oh no!

It’s also rather frustrating in how many potential storylines it raises and then ignores entirely: Buffy’s relationship with her father Hank, her deep-seated fear of becoming a vampire (which has never been brought up before or since), the complete absence of Angel (what does he have nightmares about?) and even the possibility of a Slayer getting turned.

And this ends up being one of the rare episodes that never gets mentioned again. The beginning of the episode makes it clear that everyone can see/experience everyone else’s nightmares, and by the end we’ve got giant bees flying over the rooftops, but then... it all just goes away? With no repercussions whatsoever? There’s an odd psychedelic vibe to it that’s just so season one.

#7 “Witch”

This one was neck-and-neck with “Never Kill a Boy On the First Date,” and lost out simply because it was slightly less important to the seasonal arc. That said, it DOES introduce one of the show’s longest-running guest stars, Amy Madison, along with the concept of witches and magic, which obviously becomes a HUGE part of another significant character’s development.

I’m also a fan of the episode’s central twist: that Amy and her mother Catherine have swapped bodies with one another, so that the latter can relive her glory days as a high school cheerleader. It’s a far more elegant metaphor for adolescent problems than the man-eating bug or the bullies-as-pack-animals, and ends with a total slam-dunk: that horrifying close-up of Catherine in the cheerleading trophy.

#6 “Never Kill a Boy On the First Date”

This just edged out “Witch” for this placement, simply because it contributes more significantly to the seasonal arc, and also concludes with a great twist ending: having believed Buffy has successfully taken out the prophesied Anointed One, it turns out she got the wrong guy!

Of course, this is also the episode’s big weakness. Though we don’t find out until much later, the Anointed One ends up being a wet squib, who never does anything particularly important or interesting.

But it’s also a strong episode in terms of characterization, with Buffy determined to enjoy a normal date with a boy she likes despite her supernatural calling – only to eventually realize she’s going to have to give him up for his own safety. It’s an important stepping stone in her seven-year arc.

#5/#4 “Welcome to the Hellmouth” and “The Harvest”

I find it impossible to separate these two episodes in my head, so they’re going to have to be ranked together. As pilot/sophomore episodes go, these have got to rank somewhere high in the best first offerings of all time: introducing an array of characters, their relationships to each other, the supporting cast, the premise of the Hellmouth, the threat of the Master and his vampire minions, the role of the Slayer and her Watcher... it’s a masterclass of characterization, plotting, exposition and suspense.

The glaring flaw is of course Jesse – not because he’s badly used in these episodes, but because he’s never mentioned again afterwards. A character whose death should have cast a shadow over the entire length of the show, the potential friend that Buffy tragically couldn’t manage to save, and a lasting reminder to Willow and Xander of what a relationship with Buffy might mean, he’s instead relegated to the Forgotten Fallen Friend pile. And that’s a bad place to be.

#3 “Angel”

From the title to the premise, this episode in many ways is the pilot episode of Angel: The Series. In it, we finally get an understanding of who he is and what he’s all about: the vampire with a soul, the one with the angelic face, the terrifying Angelus, the boy once known as Liam who eventually cut a swathe of destruction across Europe for centuries – fans have known all this for so long now; it’s so saturated in pop-culture and our understanding of this franchise in its entirety, that it’s almost funny when he vamps out for the first time and it’s treated as a shocking reveal.

But the episode also throws our first curveball into the underlying morality of the show. So far, all vampires and demons have been pure evil, an assumption that becomes more and more tenuous as the seasons progress. And that all started here.

More than that, the episode is almost a compacted version of season two – and I mean that as a compliment, as it makes for a great taster of all the angst and suffering and Romance-with-a-capital-R to come.

#2 “Prophecy Girl”

It’s rare to have a standalone season finale, as more often than not they’re presented as two-parters, but this one managed to wrap-up the seasonal arc in a way that left you both satisfied and ready for more.

This pulls together all the threads that have been carefully woven throughout this season: the Master’s plans, the identity of the Anointed One, Xander’s crush on Buffy, Angel’s reluctance to get involved, Jenny Calendar, the Pergamum Codex, the immutable nature of prophecy – and then bring it all home in a tight but suspenseful forty-five minutes. Every character gets their chance to shine, Sarah Michelle Gellar proves She Really Can Act, and we get a two-for-one Self-Fulfilling Prophecy AND Prophecy Twist. Love those things.

#1 “The Puppet Show”

SHUT UP I LOVE THIS EPISODE. It has it all! A great twist! A memorable guest star! A fun murder mystery! The show’s only post-credits sequence! It really is one of my favourite standalone stories of the whole show. Yes, I know it’s not as objectively good as the likes of “Prophecy Girl” or “Angel,” but this is my list dammit, and I’m putting the one I enjoy most at the top of it.

Anything that can make me a little emotional over a ventriloquist dummy cutting the heart out of a demon deserves its place at #1.