The Best and Worst of the 2019 Christchurch Santa Parade

The Santa Parade is an annual event in Christchurch, and I don't think I've missed it once in the past five years. I used to go frequently as a child, and believe it or not, some of the floats I saw as a kid are still going strong all these years later. Now that's staying power!

And the truth is that I just LOVE parades. They were always my favourite part of visiting theme parks in Australia and America, though it's hard to say why exactly they're so appealing to me. Maybe the organized chaos, in which all manner of floats, characters, dancers, animals and miscellany march down a blocked-off street for the enjoyment of the masses.

But a parade that's run largely on volunteers is sure to have its ups and downs: things that are generally innovative and colourful, and things that... aren't so much.

Having taken my niece for the second time, here is the best and worst of the 2019 Christchurch Santa Parade...

Best

Well, the best part was my niece, all ready for the big event...

These were performers from the Court Theatre, all dressed up in their Wind in the Willows costumes - which is important since that's the show I'm taking my niece to after Christmas. So this was a cool little preview.

The beagles are there every year, and they're always adorable.

Festive Stormtroopers! And they had the Star Wars theme blasting, which always gives me shivers.

I loved this headwear.

The haunted mansion was one of my favourites as a kid, but this gets extra credit based on the commentary I heard between the girls: "I don't know any of these people. Hi, strangers!"

Marching girls, a kiwi staple.

Also, miniature ponies!

Here's Snow White, on the back of a bike driven by a man in a skull bandanna. Only in the Santa Parade.

Attention to detail: this guy wove Christmas baubles into his beard.

The Garden City Queen always looks and sounds great.

Good old Humpty Dumpty, which has been around as long as I have. There are photos of me watching it as a little girl.

And of course, the man himself, complete with reindeer, elves, fairies, toys and a snow machine.

Worst

The first float of the parade, and it immediately breaks down, so we were treated to a hasty hitch-up to a convenient truck.

This guy, for reasons unknown, decided to drive his vehicle backwards. I cannot explain this, as occasionally he would do a spin, so it's not like he was stuck in this position or anything. He just decided to drive backwards. I hope his neck is okay.

It's a horse! Great, right? Except that about five minutes after this it did a giant shit on the road. Afterwards you could hear whether anyone in the parade stood in it based on the groans that emerged from the crowds.

Pity this poor man/woman, who spent the entire parade in a dingy caravan with their hand sticking out the window.

Why would you put this where children can see it?

Here are some tractors covered in tinsel. Hooray.

Hey kids it's the Little Mermaid! Being eaten by a giant whale!

Mickey's cheapskate cousins, Dickey and Winnie.

This car. It had no decorations, no connection to anything that came before or after it. Just... a car.

Optional

I really wasn't sure what to make of this collection of people, who were dressed up and walking together as an assortment of Disney Princess, anime characters, a gender-flipped Deadpool, Astrid from How To Train Your Dragon, Gandalf, Rey, some Christmas elves, and Aang, the last airbender.

Wow. That's... quite an eclectic gathering.

But despite the weirdness, the heat, and the horse poo, a good time was had by all. And honestly, the less-than-successful elements of the parade only add to its charm.