Xena Warrior Princess: Callisto, Death Mask, Is There a Doctor in the House?

There's only a few days left until 2019, and I've only just remembered to squeeze in the final episodes of Xena's first season before the New Year.

And it's a good thing I did, as the last three episodes are some of the best the show has to offer, introducing one of the most important villains not only of the show, but of pop-culture in general: Callisto. There's so much to be said about her, most of which is under the cut, but truly she's one of the most iconic baddies in sci-fi/fantasy.

Callisto

Plot: A female warrior is destroying villages and slaughtering innocents in Xena's name, claiming that she is the famous warrior princess. In attempting to stop her, Xena learns that this Callisto is one of her first victims, whose family she killed when Callisto was just a child. Accompanied by a grieving father wanting to avenge his son and a wannabe warrior called Joxer, Xena tries to settle on the best course of action in stopping one of her own victims. 

Given the title of the episode, it only makes sense that I should talk about Callisto first. And wow, what a great character. As a concept she's fantastic: a living, destructive, in-your-face consequence of Xena's dark past who desires absolutely nothing in her life but to make Xena suffer as much as Xena made her suffer as a child.

It's very reminiscent of Tim Burton's Batman/Joker ("you made me/you made me first") only better, because whereas Batman had no personal responsibility to a gangster who was evil well before he accidentally disfigured him, Xena is forced to take full responsibility for what Callisto is, being a direct consequence of Xena's past actions. There's no easy answer to this, and if there was, it certainly wouldn't come from Callisto herself.

But a good character concept is only half of a good character – the other half is the performance by the actress, and Hudson Leick knocks it out of the park. The deranged look in her eyes, the creepy mannerisms, the girlish way of talking: she's like this bizarre mix of child and woman, insanity and clarity, cat and spider, as well as a dark reflection of Xena herself. I especially liked the way her high-pitched (but still terrifying) war-cry compares to Xena's. The only thing that felt a little OTT was her vampire hissing; other than that, this was a tour de force performance.

Speaking of her role as a foil to Xena, there were quite a lot of other reflections in the episode, right from the start with the blue-eyed boy falling to the ground and dying face-to-face with the blue-eyed soldier. And if memory serves, the old woman that Callisto spares to tell her story also had blue eyes, just like Lucy Lawless herself.

There were some other great shots: I loved the epic race across the sands on horse-back, as well as the initial escape from the temple in which Xena and Callisto's running is obscured by the blurred foreground, just to emphasize how fast they were going and how chaotic it all was. I'm not sure who directed this one, but it was definitely very well put together.

Callisto's idea to poison Xena with the dart in order to blacken her name was an interesting one; but it would have worked better if Xena had still been a bit groggy at the end of the last episode, thus giving Callisto a little bit more time to work. That said, it fit in well with Callisto's MO, as I think the reason why Callisto makes for so terrifying a villain is that she doesn't want power or wealth or even vengeance (in a sense) – she just wants to make Xena suffer.

And when I say she doesn't want vengeance, I mean that she seems to have somehow gone past her grief for her family. I was getting the vibe that they were just her excuse, and that by this point she's driven MUCH more out of her need for destruction than any misguided attempts to avenge their deaths (as opposed to the grieving father). Destroying Xena is Callisto's main motivator, not the memory of her family. She only really brought them up when she wanted to twist the knife into Xena.

And there was definitely some knife-twisting going on! Though she's grappled with guilt before, I think this is really the first time that Xena's had to come face-to-face with the consequences of her actions in such a brutal manner. She can't deny what she did to Callisto, and she can't excuse it either. She can't even apologize for it as Callisto just throws it back in her face. It just is, and it's impossible to resolve this situation.

I think the reason that the conclusion of the episode was a little unsatisfying (they don't try to explain where they're going to take Callisto once she's been subdued) is testimony to the fact that there's no easy answer to her existence – in fact, there's no answer at all. Xena can't bring herself to kill the woman she's responsible for creating, she can't keep her permanently shackled to her side to prevent her from getting into more mischief, and she can't very well hand her over to people who are just going to execute her (and Callisto very astutely points out the hypocrisy that Xena has never been on trial for her crimes. The Reckoning doesn't count, as it was all a setup).

How are you meant to even deal with this problem?

Well, they came pretty close to answering it with the lovely Xena/Gabrielle scene by the campfire. It was really beautifully performed and shot (with the women's faces seen through the flames), and a nice bit a role-reversal considering Gabrielle was acting as the strong one and Xena was the tearful one. Though Gabrielle's idealism doesn't do anything to affect Callisto in any way, it doesn't make her words any less true.

There was a lot of stuff going on in this episode, and so I almost forgot the other guest stars: the grieving father and Joxer. I know Joxer comes back as a sort of bumbling sidekick for the women...I'm not quite sure what to make of him yet, only that here he felt a bit superfluous. Rather like Salmonius, he was a light presence in an episode that was quite dark; unlike Salmonius, he wasn't all that important, and pretty much completely overshadowed by Callisto.

As for the father, I'm not sure what to make of him. I suppose his presence was important as a reminder of the destruction Callisto was causing, but he just sort of fell out of the episode toward the end, and it's a shame that such an important role went to such a bland actor. It feels like he should have been memorable what with the tragic death of his son, and he just...wasn't.

Perhaps he was meant to serve as an immediate comparison to Callisto, given that he can give up his drive for vengeance while Callisto cannot, but his arc was still dropped too abruptly. A fire makes him realize that killing Callisto isn't worth it? As horrible as a child's death is, I think it would have taken a bit more than that to act as a wakeup call – like perhaps if another child had inadvertently been put in a danger as a result of his actions (and it was a bit harsh of Xena to expect a grieving father not to take any action at all against his son's killer).

But there were some really great lines of dialogue throughout, including:

"You created a monster - with integrity."

"People like us should listen to people like Gabrielle."

"You'd feel the same way if you lost what I did." (Why do I get the sense that this is foreshadowing?)

"Put out the rage in my heart. It scares even me sometimes. Then I get over it."

Great stuff!

All in all, this felt like a real "event" episode. Every hero needs a villain that is makes for a dangerous, singular adversary, and Callisto definitely fits the bill (oh how I wish Morgana from Merlin could have taken a few tips from this woman – just imagine if she had Callisto's drive, her intelligence, and her desire to rub Merlin's face in his attempted poisoning every chance she got).

She's a dark reflection of Xena (and in this respect, just had to have been played by a woman) and also makes for a nice comparison to Xena's other adversary, Ares. In a way, both are trying to goad Xena back to her old ways, only for very different reasons, and whereas Ares is a mentor-figure, Callisto is more like Xena's protégée (albeit accidentally). I hope these two team up at some stage.

So yeah, I loved this episode, possibly my favourite so far because of the questions it raised.

Death Mask

Plot: Xena finally confronts the warlord that destroyed her village and killed her younger brother, while teaming up with her older brother who has been working undercover towards the same purpose. 

Ah, so this is the famous brother I've heard about – the one that's never been mentioned before, and never will be again. It's so bizarre how shows do this: introduce a character who is ostensibly very important to one of the main characters, only for them to disappear from the show as though they never existed.

I remember this happening on Smallville with the introduction of Lucas Luthor – Lex's long-lost half-brother (whose existence was given considerable build-up) who got one episode before being forgotten about entirely.

But it's a double-whammy in this case, as not only do we get a brother, but also the warlord who originally mounted the attack on Xena's village, and who takes credit for making Xena who she is.

Knowing what I do about future seasons (and vague memories of the likes of Julius Caesar, Borias, Ares and that Asian Empress), it seems utterly ludicrous that this campy warlord with a bad fake tan and ridiculous body contortions is the guy responsible for making Xena who she is today.

Much like the guy who was apparently Xena's ex-fiancé, the man who kick-started her slide into the dark side by killing her younger brother should have been a Big Deal – and instead, he was entirely and utterly forgettable (the more so because of how weird he was, leading me to actively want to forget him). On the heels of a game-changing episode like Callisto, this story seems utterly bizarre in its attempt to introduce two fairly important characters to the canon, and failing utterly in both cases.

Okay, it's not that I disliked Toris, it's just that nothing about him makes much sense, including the fact that Xena has never mentioned him before, that he's apparently been spending all this time trying to track down and infiltrate a warlord's gang (what, this took how many years?) and that he can't make up his mind whether he's brave or a coward.

I usually really enjoy watching brother/sister dynamics, but Lucy and the actor playing Toris didn't quite capture it – not entirely at least. A couple of times there were some nice moments, such as bringing up the difference between murder and justice, and how Xena is doing to Gabrielle what she did to the entire village; but the good parts couldn't overshadow all the awkward bits.

The story itself was a bit iffy as well. How did Cortese manage to become king of this area anyway? Never mind, I don't really want to think about him anymore. Silver papier-mâché party masks aren't the most frightening disguises for a group of bloodthirsty mercenaries.

This really felt like a first-season episode in the sense that the writers are trying to fill in some gaps of Xena's past and introduce plenty of guest characters to see which ones will stick. In this case, the fact that Cortese was the reason behind Xena's first stint as a warrior/leader was disappointing on account of his ridiculousness, and Toris obviously didn't gel in a way that warranted his return (as opposed to the likes of Ephiny or Callisto).

Which is a shame, as the disappearance of a brother can't be as easily be dropped as any old random person from Xena's past (like Helen or Flora or even her ex-fiancé), and even though he was awkwardly placed, it's even more awkward that this is the first and last we'll ever see of Toris, a fairly significant figure in Xena's life.

From what I understand, season two pretty much jettisons everything we learn about Xena's past in the first season anyway, so I guess both Cortese and Toris should be relegated to the "discontinuity" pile.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Plot: Xena and Gabrielle take a wounded and pregnant Ephiny to a temple of healing, only to discover that the priests are useless and the causalities keep piling up as the fighting outside goes on...

This was basically Xena meets ER, but I could see what the writers were trying to do and thought that it was quite clever: that the Warrior Princess spends this entire episode healing people – and in fact, doesn't actually fight or harm anyone (unless you count her injuring Marmax, which she only did in order to get him up close and personal with the victims of war as part of a gambit to stop the fighting).

Among other things, she delivers a baby and brings her best friend back to life, making this episode about as far away as you can possibly get from how she first appeared on Hercules. So it was an unusual but fitting finale: taking place not on the battlefield, but in a hospital.

It was nice seeing Ephiny again, though the fate dealt to Phantes was rather sad (and that they actually forced Danielle Cormack to say: "someone has to think of the children!") I guess a lot of minor characters are going to get killed off-screen, but it was a bit annoying that a reasonably good character had to go out like this, without even the dignity of seeing him die in defense of his wife/unborn child.

But speaking of Phantes... he and Ephiny... how did they... ? Never mind, let's not go there. That's up there with that woman on Doctor Who giving birth to kittens.

There were some cute little nods here and there as to Greek medicine, what with Galen and Hippocrates (and the latter's idea of having doctors swear an "oath") as well as the rod with the two snakes that Galen was carrying around. Given her history, it actually made sense that Xena knew some of these crazy new-fangled healing techniques, even if it did involve lung inflation, tracheotomies and caesarean births. She was actually reminding me of Aragorn!

I liked General Marmax, especially the fact that they found a guy who could actually act (sorry my fellow kiwis) leading to some truly affecting scenes between himself and Xena. His character arc was paint-by-numbers, but there were some really nice touches here and there: enjoying Gabrielle's story, holding the soldier's hand as Xena operated on him, and the really, really great "you've seen too much death"/"so have you" exchange with Xena over Gabrielle's body.

Speaking of which, in the lead-up to Gabrielle's death there was a bit too much "oh, isn't Gabrielle amazing" talk. It always bugs me when writers resort to "tell, don't show" when trying to get an audience to like a character, especially in this case when it really wasn't necessary. We could see perfectly well for ourselves how brave and helpful Gabrielle was being, and so all the praise became obvious setup for her near-death experience.

That said, Lucy's performance was amazing when Xena brings Gabrielle back to life, especially as a reaction to Gabrielle's much gentler response to Xena's temporary death. The writers were wise in keeping Gabrielle's return rather ambiguous: was it a miracle, the will of the gods, Xena pounding on her chest and giving her CPR, or simply Xena's sheer force of will? It doesn't really matter, only that she came back.

And cute that Gabrielle mentioned seeing Talus at the end there.

Though this wasn't a huge spectacular finale, I understand and liked what the writers were trying to do with it: that Xena (in a sense) comes full circle and ends up saving lives and restoring peace instead of killing people and waging war.

See you all in season two!