tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post779344265495550034..comments2024-03-27T01:48:48.936-07:00Comments on They're All Fictional: The Musketeers: The Queen's DiamondsRavhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09152296184925188730noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-64826766742007594722017-04-19T07:58:47.687-07:002017-04-19T07:58:47.687-07:00Thank you for replying and clearing that up! :)Thank you for replying and clearing that up! :)Guesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00143684615630699673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-79170558135496464972016-09-27T20:56:37.875-07:002016-09-27T20:56:37.875-07:00I'm not Catholic, but I'm under the impres...I'm not Catholic, but I'm under the impression that when you commit a sin (and confess) you have to do penance. It could be donating money to the poor, undergoing a pilgrimage, or just a few Hail Marys. Athos and Porthos are joking that Aramis is their penance (or "punishment") for all the sins they've committed during their lifetime.Ravhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09152296184925188730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-78394010178620973982016-09-24T05:20:58.349-07:002016-09-24T05:20:58.349-07:00I don't understand what athos and porthos mean...I don't understand what athos and porthos mean when they say aramis is their penance?Guesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00143684615630699673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-27686774507203941062016-09-10T19:33:11.953-07:002016-09-10T19:33:11.953-07:00Wow, thank you for this detailed reply - I haven&#...Wow, thank you for this detailed reply - I haven't checked my e-mail for about a week, so I've only just discovered it! I was (as you may have inferred) in a really bad place for a while, and having visited a grief councillor since then I've been able to figure out that I was conflating my stress over international news with my aunt's death, as well as the general anxiety we all have about age, illness and passing. <br /><br />As it happens, what you've said has a lot of resonance: one of my work colleagues gave me the same advice that I should just try to <i>experience</i> grief (including the guilt) without shoving it away, and the councillor suggested I could get some closure by visiting a place I went to with Isabel and say a personal goodbye there (I'm just waiting on sensible weather in order to do so!)<br /><br />I also have a religious upbringing, but I haven't been nursing it lately, and am taking some steps to get back in touch with my spiritual side. So it's all been quite a learning experience, and hopefully I can look back on it eventually and see as something I had to go through to gain further insight into myself/the world. <br /><br />In any cause, thanks very much for the kind words, as one of the things I've been telling myself is that what I went through is something that most people go through at some point of their their lives. It takes the edge off a little to know that, especially when it's confirmed by internet posters! Ravhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09152296184925188730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-5718437562681913382016-09-05T19:44:24.841-07:002016-09-05T19:44:24.841-07:00(2/2) I think one of the things we don't talk...(2/2) I think one of the things we don't talk about is that, even if you'd GOTTEN that Last Goodbye experience, you would still need to come back to a way to say goodbye and process again and again over the weeks and months and years. I don't know your great aunt Isabel, but I feel that while it would have been meaningful to both of you to have that last time together in mortality, it's just as meaningful to HER for you to have that moment now, or next week, or next year. I do believe that spirits are eternal, and in that case, on her side, it ultimately might not make a huge difference whether you got to see her before her death or if instead you have to have a special moment with her afterward. She's there for it. And, in a way, that's narratively beautiful, too, and something your mind and heart can organize in a way that makes sense. <br /><br />If you don't believe that spirits persist after death, then I think it's still okay to say that her personality and intentions still obviously have a radiating impact on this world after she left it. In that case, it still matters to you and honors the feelings and intentions she had during life to get your own special day or moment dedicated to her. <br /><br />Nothing can change the fact that, in addition to mourning the loss of someone you're very close to, you're mourning the loss of seeing her alive another time, that you might have had. I'm not trying to somehow act as if that loss isn't real, because it is, and I'm sure it's been painful. You may have already taken the time to have a mental or verbal goodbye, or conversation, or something, and still experienced suffering and pain. And you know? That's okay. One special moment doesn't undo the loss or trauma. But regular experiences, from yourself and others, affirming your right to feel what you're feeling do slowly build into a kind of healing, and balance, which combats those episodes of depression and panic and crises of self.<br /><br />It's been a couple months since this post, so I'm sure you're in a different point in the process than you were when you wrote this, but I still think it's worth hearing even if you already know it. I've also had experiences with panic and weepy attacks, for different reasons. Everyone's experience with it is unique, so no one can tell you the "right" way to handle it or recover from it, but there can still be comfort in the solidarity of knowing that you're not alone in it and someone else understands - or at least, understands their version of that experience. And as one of those people, the overwhelming thought and feeling I have is just...it's okay to not feel okay. It's okay if you DO feel okay even when you feel like you shouldn't. Your experience and your feelings are valid. <br /><br />(I AM religious and I DO have a lot of feelings and opinions and religious sources with material about God and Life and Purpose, but even though you threw out a line asking about those things...I dunno, I felt like the thoughts I expressed above were the more pertinent things to express.)<br /><br />I apologize if this comment is in any way upsetting or boundary-crossing, but I sincerely hope the best for you and am sitting here feeling strong empathy for you! If nothing else, know that a random internet person is rooting for you! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16907444332637619802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163433168019315772.post-72316957807798754772016-09-05T19:43:38.421-07:002016-09-05T19:43:38.421-07:00Hi, I know I'm new to your blog and have been ...Hi, I know I'm new to your blog and have been flooding you with comments lately, but I've been thinking a lot the past few days about the beginning of this post and how you were feeling about your great aunt Isabel's passing, and how you even said "if anyone has answers let me know ASAP." If at all possible, try to read this comment only when you're okay with someone talking to you about your loss, and you have the opportunity to fully process it in an emotionally safe environment! <br /><br />I don't have the answers to everything (despite what my ego tells me), and I have nothing particularly unique to say that you might not have heard or already feel, but still, I wanted to answer. <br /><br />I don't know if it's just part of the nature of grief or something, but we always find reasons to feel guilty about something or other when we lose someone. And the thing I keep thinking, that I keep thinking about you in particular, is that whether the feelings of guilt are extremely well-founded or something you don't REALLY need to feel bad about, they're all a part of your experience of grief. You may not DESERVE to feel guilty, in that there's not necessarily real guilt on your part, but still...it's important, and okay, to just let yourself feel what you feel. And often that feeling is guilt. And often it's just pain without particular guilt. But even two months later, while you've had time to process, the feelings of guilt you expressed while writing this post are still in your memory, if not actively affecting you. And as a random stranger, I just want to throw out there that it's okay to feel that. It's okay to feel ALL the things you're feeling, and did feel. <br /><br />We like to organize the events of our lives and people's deaths in ways that make sense, narratively. And it would have made sense, narratively, to have gotten in to see her one last time and have a cathartic goodbye before her death. It would have been a meaningful experience, and it must be so painful to not have had that. But whether you believe in a life after death or not, there IS always time to take a moment, or an hour, or a day, and dedicate it to the kind of goodbye you'd like to have. Whether it's visiting a place that's meaningful to both of you, or just setting time to write to yourself/to her, or lighting a candle or whatever, or just sitting alone and purposefully thinking out a thought to her, that's still something in your power, that will still matter to you, and her. Different cultures and families and religions and people have different rituals for honoring the dead, and ultimately I think what they all come down to is setting aside that head space dedicated to feeling what you feel, and connecting/conveying those feelings to the person you love. It's an important thing to every human heart that's grieving. Nothing can take away the fact that this is a loss, and a loss that hit you hard and very personally. But there are ways that your body and mind can (and maybe already have started to) find their equilibrium and sense of peace again. (1/2)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16907444332637619802noreply@blogger.com